Just Keep Going

4 Jan

keep-going-look-back-quote-quotes-sky-Favim.com-432260One of the things that I have observed and taken note of in the past year is that I tend to jump to conclusions about – ohh well – just about everything. I have some kind of inkling and when I find one (yes often it is just ONE) potential piece of evidence to support some story I have that will justify some want or action I allow it to become fact for me.  It derails my actions and I am back to square one.  There is really nothing inherently wrong with this behavior.  It just rarely leaves me feeling satisfied, accomplished, fulfilling on what I set out to fulfill on or getting what I REALLY want.

Recently I had this SHOCKING epiphany that the things I am really good at or the things I do well are the things that I have done the longest.  Things that I kept doing long past the desire to do them or the initial intrigue faded.  I have a job where I type a lot.  I have had many thoughts like, “I don’t really like typing.  My fingers are tired and I keep pressing the wrong keys.  If only I could talk into a microphone and it would dictate for me.  That would be sooooo much faster and way more fun.”  The thing to note here is that I didn’t stop typing.  I mean that would be totally crazy, right?  Typing is crucial in my life and if I decided not to do it because my fingers were tired, I never would have graduated from college, be able to write this awesome blog, and I would get fired – no bueno!

The outcome of my continued typing is the I am kind of a typing rock star.  I can type without looking at my fingers.  I can take fairly fast paced dictation with some level of accuracy and I am sure that my skills will continue to develop, because guess what – I am not quitting typing.  I am just going to keep banging away at these keys until they wear out and then I will find some more to bang on, and I can guarantee you that in the process of continuing to type my skills will develop.

What I am learning is that to keep going is EXTRAORDINARY.  To look at extraordinary people and to ask questions like:

  • What makes them so special?
  • What did they eat for breakfast, read, wear, study?
  • What were their parents like when they were growing up?
  • What do I have to do to be like them?

Is an exercise in futility   Those questions may yield some tip, trick or insight, but they will leave us working on the circumstances of life and trying to make ours look like theirs, while avoiding the real point, which is – THEY KEPT GOING!

What would it be like to just keep going?  How much time could I free up by not entertaining thoughts about quitting things and by just doing them?  I am here to make a difference for others and for myself.  There are things I want to accomplish and there are steps to take in accomplishing them.  What if I allowed it to be as simple as it is, just keep going.  Just keep putting one foot in front of the other until I get there?  Well, lets see 😉

Counting my blessings –

  1. I am grateful that ordinary people accomplish extraordinary things everyday, because that means that nothing is beyond our (any one of us) reach.
  2. I am grateful that I have such awesome friends, because they love me for me and hold me to taking the actions toward what I say that I want.  It is really remarkable to see how much I unwittingly get in my own way and I am so lucky to have people who lovingly brush the stars from my eyes and illuminate the small things I do that keep my from what I want.
  3. I am grateful for Google images, because I love finding pictures that encapsulate the emotion of what I want to say allowing me to express visually what my words can’t.
  4. I am grateful for my mom.  She is so loving, giving and supportive and she is in this awesome place right now where she is taking on her life and making the changes that she has been wanting for a while.  It is moving to be inspired by her and see her be in action who I have always held her to be in my mind.
  5. I am grateful for blogging.  I love writing.  It lets me process thoughts, feelings and life in a way that is unique, distilling experience down to its essence.

I love you guys – whoever you are who sees these.  Thank you for sharing this journey and your morning with me.

– Katie

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Happy NEW Year!

3 Jan

I have always been an avid resolutionist.  Eager to challenge myself to grow, develop, adopt new practices and/or learn new things, I would enumerate all of my resolutions like a year long “To Do” list.  This year, unlike those past, I chose to abstain.  I have not forsaken my commitment to growth and development, but rather the flurry of promises that quickly fade to nice ideas and/or fixes.

So in lieu of an armory of resolutions, I am allowing the year’s purpose to unfold for me and evolve naturally.  Around 2AM on the first of January we huddled around the kitchen counter in Lacey, WA to pull Angel Cards and see what the Angel’s said the new year would hold for us.  I reach into a bowl filled with fortune cookie sized slips of paper with words like “clarity”, “kindness”, and “grace” written on them to chose my years intention.  Letting my fingers wander over the cards, digging and fondling I located the one and pulled “Freedom”, and in the process flipped over “Vision”.  Kim turns to me and says, “Maybe they are trying to tell you something.  I think you should pick up “Vision” as well.”

So here I am two sleeps, three states, many tears and 0 resolutions later.  Guided by Vision and Freedom, I am lead to gratitude and a practice that honors  life, the magic that surrounds us and my soul.

Counting my blessings –

  1. I am grateful for you (Greg), because you awakened my heart, allow me to love you and return that love without condition.  I have learned so much about myself and what is important to me through our journey.  I have never felt my heart or love this exactly, and like any muscle the tearing of its fiber has allowed it to grow and has brought me back to life, vulnerable, open and ever so alive.
  2. I am grateful for you, because you are a man, a strong, protective, provider.  I feel safe knowing that you are with me.
  3. I am grateful for open communication, because it lets us create.  Life does not have to fit neatly into pre-existing boxes or categories.  We are our own authors.
  4. I am grateful for mid-night talks, because under the cover of darkness I found my voice.
  5. I am grateful for love, because it is the experience of living.

I am present to every moment being access to experiencing ourselves and our lives fully, and the magic and love that abound.

Here is to a year of no rules, freedom, vision and LOVE 😉

– Katie

Katie’s Magical Practice Number 6 round 4? – Work

13 Sep

So here it is – I feel like I cheated on yesterday’s practice.  Well not cheated, but that I was not really present to gratitude.  I know what being present to gratitude feels like and the benefits that I am afforded as a result of really feeling it and I am not willing to sacrifice that, so I am going to give it a another go at MP8.  Yup you heard me, I am going to do MP6 AGAIN on my own volition.  It actually feel pretty remarkable to be choosing to do it again because I am committed to putting my heart into it and I didn’t yesterday.   I also acknowledge that it would be crazy to just do it again and expect that I would be any different, so what I am going to do is update this post throughout the day as “my manager” is grateful for things.

The Best of Yesterday – I still go to blockbuster.  It may be shocking to some of you that seemingly antiquated establishment still exists, but it does and I patron it regularly.  I am even a monthly pass member.

Now I am a terrible person to let go to Blockbuster, or really pick a movie for that matter, because I stand there staring at the wall, pickup and read most movie boxes, slowly amass tons of movies that I carry around while reading more movie boxes, eventually start to  narrow down the collection in my arms by tediously comparing one to another, replace movies I have decided against to their rightful spaces and then an hour later checkout with the first thing I picked up which is often D-list and predictably horrid.  Yesterday I went to blockbuster feeling the need to just decompress.  I ended up in a heated debate with myself about what I was getting, Life Happens or Dexter Season 6 Disc 2.  I decided a comedy was best for my in my somewhat broody state and proceeded, honestly still undecided and unsettled in my choice, to the checkout.  When I pulled up to my  next stop and looked in the passenger seat there were two discs – Dexter and Life Happens.  I had accidentally carried Dexter out under my arm – HA!  I got both of the things I wanted 😉

Counting my Blessings –

  1. I am grateful for early morning blog entries, because they remind me what I care about.
  2. I am grateful for bloating, because it is a clear, indisputable indication that what I ate was NOT good for me.  What I left out about last night was that after Blockuster, in spite of the fact that I was not hungry, I went to the Loving Hut and grabbed food.  I felt uncomfortable then and feel uncomfortable now.  Next time I plan to hang-up on that thought.
  3. I am grateful that bloating disipated rather quickly, because this is honestly uncomfortable.  I feel like my skin is being stretched.  Hydrate Katie!  Hydrate!
  4. I am grateful for the movie Life Happens, because it gave me a chuckle when I sneeded it.
  5. ” ” “, because it reminded me of me and my life, and made me think that if I ever did decided to write a movie or book it could be successful.
  6. ” ” “, because it reminded me of Michelle and the good times and amazingly close friendship that we used to have.  Michelle looks like Kate Bosworth’s twin and we used to be like Deena and Kim, pre-baby that is.
  7. I am grateful that Juddy boy called me to let me know that he has a new cell phone, because I want to talk to him and because that was the responsible thing to do.  My baby bro on his own just decided to do the responsible thing.  That is amaze-balls!
  8. I am grateful that I have new access to not eating crappy food, because it does not work for me.  It is inconsistent with what I am up to and makes me feel like crap.
  9. I am grateful for fans, because it is crazy hot in my house and I don’t have AC.
  10. I am grateful for the perfect gratitude rock that I found, because it fits so perfectly in my hand that I have fallen asleep holding it the past two nights.

Counting my work blessings –

  1. I am grateful that people trust me to do my job, because it allows me the freedom to work in a way that works for me, vice being micro-managed.
  2. I am grateful that Bob is soooo amazingly pr0ductive, level headed and hard working, because he is a great role model for me.
  3. I am grateful to have multiple screens to work off of.  Splitting screens is really cool and lets me see more things at once instead of opening and closing things all day.
  4. I am grateful that my team really likes eachother, because they lighten my day and our work banter is hilarious.
  5. I am grateful that Ryan is such a goof-ball, because he cracks me up all day and reminds me not to take myself or life too seriously.
  6. I am grateful that I don’t have to clock in and out, because that seems like it would be a real pain in the rear.
  7. I am grateful that I work near places with delicious food, so I can leave and get edible delights.

– Katie

Katie’s Magical Practice Number 6 – Work

12 Sep

The Best of Yesterday – Last night when I held my rock, I had a really hard time thinking of one best thing.  Was it yoga class?  Was it the afterglow of the trip?  Was it that Jenn was not mad at me like I thought she might be?  Was it the conversation that I had with Jackie?  Or that Nancy has now created the future of seminar leader for me?  Was it that Carmen is so excited to have an introduction at her house and share the Landmark Forum with them and to know that I played a role in her being so lit up?  I have to say that I still don’t really know.  What I do know is that I am grateful for my life.  That I can look back on yesterday, a day where nothing particularly interesting or impact-ful happened and see how great my life is is the best thing about yesterday.  The best of yesterday was hanging out at my house watching Dexter and decompressing, then retiring to my awesome bed, stumped by what to choose as the best thing that happened that day.

Counting my Blessings –

  1. I am grateful that Tim feels like he can share his personal life with me,   because it means that our relationship is more than just co-workers.
  2. I am grateful that I am going to have my jewelry in a charity auction, because that means that I am giving back which is one of the major intentions of Kasita.
  3. I am grateful that Jenn was not upset with me, because it was an evidence of how that crazy voice in my head really is NOT the truth.
  4. I am grateful that I hung out with family this past weekend, because in the wake of a friend’s family loss I see how valuable it is to be in touch with those you love because life can end at any point and I don’t want to have the regret that people don’t know how much they mean to me.
  5. I am grateful that Heather is a fruit fly catching ninja, because those little Drisophila Milanigasters are soooo annoying, and she is taking them out one at a time.
  6.  I am grateful that I woke up at 7:08 this morning, because any later and I really would have been late to work.
  7.  I am grateful that I have people in my life who believe that anything is possible, because today I am going to have a conversation that I didn’t think could happen a month ago and it has the potential to really transform my life.
  8.  I am grateful that we have indoor plumbing, because going to an outhouse and pooing in a hole in the ground would suck!
  9. I am grateful that San Diego has water and sewer, because it really allows for modern society to thrive.
  10. I am grateful that I have this new awesome Bulova watch, because it is pretty and it reminds me of my uncle 😉

Now off to being grateful for my job!  I am grateful that I have a job where I can leave for a half an hour to go get green drink and coffee – YUM!  Maybe the cute juice guy will be there.  Love him, even if he does have a GF.

– Katie

Katie’s Magical Practice Number 5 – Money, again:)

11 Sep

I went home this past weekend to support my dad in his campaign for a position on Cecil County, Maryland’s City Council.  It was an AWESOME trip!  I had a great time with him just talking and going about life.  My uncle came up from Annapolis and we hung out really for the first time ever.  I think that we are going to have great relationship.  He wants to have family in his life and was really grateful that I had wanted to see him.  I also had the chance – wait on sec!  I think that I am going to stop here with the tales of my trip for actually a couple of reasons.  1)  In the interest of time, it is 6:15AM and I still need to juice, dress and get to work by 7:30AM, I am going to hold off on telling you about my trip home.  2)  Most of this will be included in my counted blessings.  3)  If I were to write all of this I would want to give it the time it deserved and right now I can’t, so I am going to hold off on this story and suffice to say, I was very busy the past couple of days having a great trip.  Though I did not have time to write down what I was grateful for, I did spend most of the time experiencing my gratitude.  Per The Magic’s instructions, I am going back 3 days in exercises to reestablish my gratitude.

The Best of Yesterday – My flight from Philadelphia to Maryland was supposed to leave at 8:30AM yesterday.  I arrived at the airport at 7:18.  Made it through security rather swiftly and seated myself in the waiting area.  The flight attendant came over the speaker and said that they had overbooked the plane and would be offering travel vouchers for those who agreed to fly later that day.  I started to get irritated with the airline and then thought, hmmm – I should go check this out.  I don’t have anywhere to be until 7PM.  After some negotiations, the attendant and I determined that, if they needed me to switch my flight I had a suitable option and would do it.

They ended up needing my seat.  I went back up to the counter and the attendant gave me my new tickets and my $500 travel voucher, that I can put toward future flights on any airlines.  The attendant also confirmed me on a flight that I was previously on stand by and gave me a first class seat on one leg of my trip.  I arrived home less than 2 hours after my originally scheduled flight with a travel voucher that will probably pay for my next 2 trips.

Counting My Blessings –

  1. I am so grateful that I was able to switch my flight yesterday because now I have $500 to put toward future travel.
  2. I am so grateful that I hung out with Uncle Milty when I went home, because I learned a lot about my dad, his family, and my uncle.  I now have a completely different relationship with my dad and his family.
  3. I am grateful that my uncle wants to have a correspondence.  It will be so cool to get something other than a bill in the mail, and it will really give us the opportunity to get to know each other.
  4. I am grateful that Milty and my dad were excited about the idea of having a family reunion, because I think it is going to be so much fun and am really looking forward to it.  Also, if they are excited about it now and we have plenty of time to plan, it will actually happen 😉 .
  5. I am grateful for my new iPad, because it is really cool.  It is going to help me be more efficient and keep track of  commitments better.
  6. I am grateful that I went home to support dad.  It really meant a lot to him that I was there and I got to know him in a new way.
  7. I am grateful that my dad has friends who love and respect him so much.  It is nice to know that people are looking out for him, taking care of him and keeping him in good spirits.
  8. I am grateful for selling the CGX stock that we sold, because it reduced my margin to something that will be much easier to pay off.
  9. I am grateful that 9/14 is my last $200 Credit Card Debt payment to dad, because that means that I have kept my promise and paid him back in full.  I don’t know if he thought he was going to get it and though he has never said anything to me about the payments, I know that it means the world to him that I am repaying him.
  10. I am grateful that I have all of these nice men in my life (dad, Milty, Bob, Greg, Ryan, Michael, Danny, Rob, Mitch, Tim, Mike, etc) who really love me.  Not all of them say it, but it is so great to have such warm healthy relationships with men.  There was always something missing and now I am complete!

It is so cool that I really feel like I could go on forever being grateful.  I have such an amazingly blessed life.  Thank you for sharing it with me.

– Katie

Katie’s Magical Practice Number 7 – ???

8 Sep

The Best of Yesterday – Ahhh how perfect is this:  Yesterday’s gratitude practice was about money – thank you for all of the money I have been given throughout my life – and today’s practice is about work, being grateful for everything with regard to work.  I walk into work and for once don’t open my email, but just start completing things that I did not complete the day before and need to get out ASAP.  I finish my requisite pre-8:30AM tasking and open my email.  The first email that catches my eye is one from my company about an eCard (aka Award – ohhh lala!).  I opened it thinking that it was referencing an award that was paid out to me on 31Aug for a couple of months back, and to my surprise and elation it was a new award!  I received an award the day that I am being grateful for my job and the day after I am being grateful for money, and the award came with $400 that I will receive in my 30Sep paycheck.  WOW – this is working!  Holy MAGIC batman!

Counting my blessings –

  1. I am grateful for the opportunity I received yesterday, because my life could be radically different in 2 months.
  2. I am grateful for the conversation I had with Julie yesterday, because I think it made a difference.
  3. I am grateful for the people that I work with, because they are so nice to me and really appreciate me.
  4. I am grateful that my dad wants me to help him write a speech, because it means he values my opinion.
  5. I am grateful that most of the places I need to go on a regular basis are within 10miles of my house, because I spend less time in transit and more time living.
  6. I am grateful that I really feel so happy on a daily basis, because life is beautiful and now I get to experience it that way.
  7. I am grateful that the voice inside my head seems to have taken a hiatus, because I have an incredible amount of piece of mind.
  8. I am grateful for the iPad that I am going to get tomorrow (currently this is unplanned, but will happen because I said so 😉 ), because it is going to make my life way more rockstar.  I won’t have to carry around my full computer to keep opening and rebooting and will not have to type on my phone – YAYY!!!
  9. I am grateful for Terry, because he has given me my space, but still sends me cute pictures of animals and the beauty he finds in the world randomly.
  10. I am grateful that Jon has health coverage, because he broke his hand and I want him to get all the medical attention he needs to be well.

 

The situation – TBD

10 Things I am grateful for about “the situation’ – TBD

So here it is.  I completed this yesterday and did not get a chance to post it until now.  Now I am in MD with my dad and though I know gratitude is important, I see my dad about twice a year.  This time is precious to me and I am going to spend the next couple of days with the fam.   I will do my daily gratitude of 10 and my Best of yesterday and try to post as I can.  I will definitely let you know what is going on at the end of the day, but am not making promises about a time of post.  Now I am off to the mall with my dad and uncle to get an iPad:)

LOVE YOU!!!

– Katie

Magical Practice Number 7 – The Magical Way Out of Negativity

8 Sep